the full story
From CROhN’S DISEASE, anxiety ATTACKS, ANXIETY, PERFECTIONISM, IBS to a life of wellness
So you may have read my bio on my homepage, but if not let me catch you up on how I got all of the diseases/disorders above and healed them myself, without losing my mind.
Growing up in the “Healthy” House
I was fortunate enough to be raised in a non-traditional household, though my nine-year old self might have told you differently. I grew up in NY and my parents shopped primarily at local health food stores, my mom used incense, we ate tofu, and we had no candy or processed sugar in the house (besides my Halloween stash). Deep down however, I had this feeling, this nagging anxiety.
When It All Started
In 3rd grade, I was majorly picked on for what I wore to school. I had my own style and I was eccentric. I remember being called “freak” “weirdo” and “loser” and crying in the bathroom feeling alone. Despite my amazing upbringing, my entire life began to change. I already had some perfectionist tendencies, but I began to obsess over what to wear to school. Some mornings, I would try on everything in my closet leaving a pile of clothing on the floor and nearly missing the bus. I would experience what I now know to be anxiety, “What if they don’t like this?” “Will they think this outfit is cool or weird?” I remember living in a future state of fear worrying about having a “repeat experience”.
This experience continued through high school with my grades, getting into the best college, looking perfect on social media and beyond.
Stress & Anxiety As The New Normal
By the time of adulthood, living in a stressed and anxious world was my norm. When I looked around at my friends and coworkers everyone else seemed to be stressed and anxious too, so I didn’t worry about it! If it’s normal it can’t hurt me, right? I remember friends and coworkers discussing stress almost like a badge of honor. “I have so many important meetings and projects, I’m so stressed. But work is going great!” Seemed the more stressed you were, the more successful. While stress was thrown around colloquially, I found anxiety was not.
Until Finally I Couldn’t Ignore It
By my mid-to late-20’s, my anxiety had gotten so bad that I would call my mom or best friend in tears over my excessive worrying about the future. I would go down deep anxiety spirals, suffered from insomnia (racing thoughts and to-do lists), and sometimes would have anxiety attacks over events that had not even happened. Along with my anxiety came my need to constantly run to the bathroom. I had already been diagnosed with IBS at 25, but it now became abundantly clear that my GI issues were affecting my life in a big way. It was like my body was trying to tell me something…
A Complete Wizebody Wellness Life Style Shift
When I got sick with Crohn’s disease in 2017, I was faced with the blunt truth – If I didn’t reduce my stress and constant worrying, I would most likely need to take medication for the rest of my life (something I did not want to do). I had been on the road to reducing my anxiety for a few years, but did not move quickly enough.
So, I completely changed my life.
Food | Our Energy & Life Force
First, I addressed my diet. By the time of diagnosis, I was barely able to eat and was skin and bones. I went on a complete macrobiotic diet (an Asian centric diet known for its deep healing). My parents had both used this diet in the 70s and 80s to successfully heal their own medical issues, and I was excited to give it a try.
While changing a diet might seem scary, to me, it was the easiest way to improve my health. The food that we eat literally creates our health. When we are eating a nutrient deficient diet, not only do we not feel well, but it is much harder to fight disease.
The macrobiotic lifestyle was the best choice for my own gut healing. It allowed me to eat REAL FOOD, have normal bowl movements, natural energy, and it was ultimately an act of self-love. Here is a link to learn more.
Meditation | Medication For The Mind
I began meditating 2x a day and at first it was incredibly hard. I had so many thoughts flying around my mind and I couldn’t seem to relax. But there is a saying, relax the body and the mind will follow. I found myself craving my after work meditation practice because when I got quiet, I started to connect deeper and deeper with the 9-year-old me, the one that had been hurt and harmed. I decided, yes, I can fix my anxiety for her! And I want to find this girl I once lost. I decided part of my healing, would be discovering who I really was inside. Self-awareness was my second line of defense against my chronic anxiety.
Oh and I left my corporate job to pursue all things wellness.
Oils & Plants | Natural Medicine For The Body
I started to look for other holistic solutions and tools to help me on my journey. I enrolled with doTERRA and started seeking out oils for relaxation. These natural medicines played such a big role in my journey. Not only did they help boost my immune system, but they also helped me fight my anxiety and I used them as a coping mechanism.
Read more about this journey here. Plus, they are just amazing life aids and mood elevators. They make everything better.
Acceptance & Learning Presence
In the end, I healed my body, my life, my Crohn’s disease and most of the issues listed above. It’s true and I am so grateful.
Do I still experience anxiety? Absolutely! Anxiety is a part of life and the world we live in. The difference? It rarely takes over my day, my mind, or my life. When I experience anxiety, I am able to nip it before it becomes a long-term problem. I use my tools to work with it.
Today, I live most of my days in the present moment (a place I never expected to be). I live life with my eyes open, take in my surroundings, feel my physical body in space, and I enjoy the task in front of me. I worry less now than ever before about what people think. I feel free and confident and healthy in my Mind, Body, & Soul.